and now...

my mind is not set.
neither does it tick.
or beat to a rythm that's known to anyone.

It's out of sync with what is real or maybe what is known to be real.

I'm going to consult someone wiser than me in hope that he/she can fix this.
I never want to feel like that again.
Having a nervous breakdown has made me truelly realise something's not right.
and before you judge this as something it's not you need to fully understand why this has become.

Everyday nothing feels real.
i feel empty and worthless, inadequate so to speak.
The one thing holding me together "Y.G.A" is know lost.
To have the one thing you thought you were good at looking after others thrown back in your face can be that mm over the line that makes you break.

In simpler terms i had a nervous breakdown last week after a whole year of failing at looking after those around you and hurting everyone unintentionally that you held dear to you i broke with an array of emotions overcoming me.

I've had memory loss, mood swings, sleep paralysis, spontanious rages and also i'm struggling to do everyday tasks such as hold a conversation or put two sentences together so i apologise if this is absolute drivel i just need to make my mind stable again.