and so this is "christmas"?

3 days proceedings until the magical day that is Christmas.
Christmas= overcommercialised business of all kinds including drinking.

The only reason i still celebrate this mokery of a holiday is for friends and family i give presents and although i do not wish to recieve any back i still do kind heartedly.
I've chosen to spend my christmas day working in the case restaurant feeding the homeless hoping i can do more for those who are in actual need of recieving, for whatever reason they are in there position i do pay attention to it is the state they are in and the circumstances there under. It shares a similar view in which i have with giving money, if they spend it on drugs then so be it i have given them my spare change in confidence that they will help themselves out if i then later see them with a can of cheap larger or injecting then they will no longer recieve from me.

Another thing i despise is rudeness, arrogance and lack of respect.

So my christmas is not a christmas i merely see it as a chance to make a minute difference.



The only other pressing issue on my plate this christmas is that of loneliness.
I am still at a stage in my life where my surroundings our pushing and pulling around me sculpting me by forces without a name to create who i am but i need another force that of love not neccesilary that of true love but even that of friendship would suffice to make sure my moulds fill with goodness and so that a sense of wholesomeness is created and a tight vaccum is formed in any thing that is not filled.

I wish to be cared for but on so many occasions i've hurt because of my "best intentions" so i guess it's time to stop trying and live an incomplete life and concentrate on what needs to be done and protecting others than worrying about myself.
I guess this was all a sidetrack on what i really should of be doing.